Sad 
Welcome
Hey everyone, Welcome to my Blog ^_^. Living the life as a "young adult" learning, experiencing, feeling, loving and basically just living life! This blog here contains my everday life where i talk about it freely. Somewhat of a diary and a way to reflect on my life as a individual. So far i had this blog up for 3 years and still going. Well even though my life may not seem that interesting.. it is my story and i love living it.. im grateful for who i am and what i have even though it could be alot better but im not materialistic. The virtue that i enjoy the most would be love, i have a very strong heart.. but not only is it strong but weak, every strength has a weakness. Well through out my entries and pages you should learn a bit about who i am. And well this is my story...
Lost Blog Spirit?
January 18,2006
[Current Mood:
] Nose Stuffy -.-
[Currently Listening to: Nothing]
Hewwo Everyone, Well it's been a really long time since i updated my blog eh? guess you could say i lost my blog spirit... yeah i know but it happens. Lately so much been going on in my life that the little things, such as taking time to write in my blog didn't count much. I knew i wasn't doing it.. i was even to the point that i wasn't gonna bother with it anymore.. but i decided not to do that lol ^^ and not only that but i should be getting back into it soon. Hehe can you believe its a New Year? ha didn't feel like one for me.. didn't even care much for it. I dunno why, usually im happy about it and what not but i guess that was just the mood on that day. To me it still feels like im in 2005, but its a new year which means i need to change stuff, as in my daily tasks and daily thinking. I guess you can say im basically gonna improve myself.
Well The New Year is here and more stuff continues to go on in my life lol. At the moment theres mid-terms going on {Great..} but it needs to be done and i can move on with the rest that is ahead of me. Lately, i've been thinking about my future alot. I continue to build a dream on what is to become of me. Dreams usually modivate people and gives them something to look forward to in life {At least thats what i think} For some reason this topic has been in my head alittle more often, and i continue to contribute to it. I mean next thing you know, i've be in college, starting my career, taking a higher step in life, and well its just around the corner. I only have two more years left, and two more years to think what will i contribute to society, what will be my job? hehe i don't know ^^;; I always, since i was alittle pup.. wanted to be a vet! I always loved animals and was always into science. I also wanted to be able to help them. But i don't know for sure yet if i do want to do this. As of now i have gotten into Biology more.. learning about life etc. Me personally Love Life! i always loved the animals and nature.
I always loved to explore and venture to new places.. and thats something i would also like to accomplish when i'm older. For some reason i feel at ease when im somewhere thats just surrounded by nature.. I feel so calm and i can just sit or wonder more. Also i used to love to find out facts about animals. So a vet, is a possible Career for me. Then again i haven't looked into any other field yet.. So im still not ready to give "vet" a definiate answer yet. I also recently for the past 3 years.. have gotten into Computers and WebDesigning.. I to be honest Learned how to use the computer on my own, Learned Html.. on my own, and how to create layouts etc. I can't exactly say all by myself because once i find out and got into it more, i looked for some help and tips but it was usually rare once i got the hang of seeing and reading a couple things about it. And since im on the computer alot when im home i wouldn't be surprise if i can find something in the Computer Field but then again i am still unsure. Even though i would never stop doing what i do on the computer {I still probably webdesign and have a site up} but lets see what happens ^.~
Life holds so many surprises, wonders, mysterious that you will never know what would happen. Atleast i've learned that from living the way i do, i guess you can say my environment. I am still young but no matter how young you are, your soul will always remain the same. Its scary how a person can have something one day, and lose it the next. Same way with power? You can have it one day but lose it just as quickly as the next. For example Napolean {Remember the small french dude?} Well yeah he's my example for power. He worked his way up and things became brighter for him. Becoming general to Leader so quickly? but next thing you know he became power hungry and instantly lost in as fast as he gained it. {Hehe, Just alittle something about myself: I usually like to compare events or things to another atleast thats what i usually do such as what im doing now. But usually thats how i see things} So yeah, this scares me. Thats why you got to cherish everything you have to the fullest.
Ha i don't understand my thinking sometimes.. But to contribute alittle more to the second paragraph. I also been adding to my dream, a person, and who could it be? Well My Boyfriend.. Matthew! tee hee. Lately i've thought of him in my future.. how it would be to have him by my side, to live with him, to learn from him, understand him, and to love him. {I bet your saying damn.. shes only 15 and she already knows that she just wants to be with this man?} Well you got that right. I know im still young {Thats Great?} but then again i know what i want in my life. My heart tells me i only want him. I know i will change as time goes on but i know there are certain things that wont change. 1. My personality {Its Who i am believe it or not} 2. My Love for someone {I have just notice how it feels to be in love, your right i am just experiancing it as i grow, but what i feel now is just so amazing. Its funny how someone could change your life around. So If i love someone, how can i not love them the next day? When i love something it doesn't go away. Whether its with me or not. I still love my father who is not with me anymore.. i can't see or talk to him. But he still is in my heart and i will always think of him. Even though i wasn't able to gain enough memories with him the ones i have.. i hold on tightly to. {I know your probably saying: Well he's your dad?} True your right he is my dad, and i should love him anyway.. but thats not the point he was a person who was close to me, a human just like everyone else, only thing was that i was blood related. And i think this could relate to anyone.. but it depends how close you have become with a person.
So if you can love someone, how does it just die? because the way someone acts? or has done? I believe that no matter what a person does or how a person may act towards another would never change my love for them. For example, for those who believe in God, God loves his people, the people who sin, disobey him, ignore the fact that they are doing wrong. But you know what? God still loves us.. He forgives us, and continues to love us no matter what has been done. Even if you have to pay for the crime {cause you know you gotta repent} but he still loves us. So thats how i believe that i will always love Matt, especially after just being with him for 1 year and 5 months. I grown to love him more, Ever since i met him, i have no idea why.. but i always felt comfortable with him.. its actually more then that but he's my best friend.. the only person i turn to in my time of need. The way i feel for Matthew will come out more in detail in time but the way i feel for him and from what i believe i know im in love! i truely believe im so in love. {If it was up to me i would write alittle more about it but it might be to long lol} But i've decided that i want to have him in my future, i want to spend every waking moment if i can with him, i wanna be able to do whatever i can to support him as well, to make him happy, and to watch him grow.
*Looks at up at 6 long paragraphs* Hmm i think i wrote alot lol. I don't know how im able to write essays {long ones too} and still not be able to describe certain things lol. Well anyway whats currently going on in my life? Well Mid-terms... lol i just finished my Math Mid-term yesterday and today, i hope i passed -.- me personality am not good with math lol. Tomorrow i have Religion and Biology, which means after i finish this post im most likey going to study. Well also soon my birth day is comming ^^ {yay} im gonna be 16. Sadly i wont have a sweet 16 due to not having that kind of money. So i wont have one.. Well i would of liked one but if i cant have one ah it doesn't matter. Just gotta find something else to do for my b-day right?
Well also i gotta start working on You Two soon, I made a layout from before but now i'm like blah i don't like it -.- so once i get inspired and actually get to make the new layout then i can move on to working with You Two. Hey! i finally got my two characters almost done as in knowing how i want them etc. I also started the story but i didn't get to far and i think i might even change what i have. The current name i have now is "Lost In Your Love" but now i think i might change it to "Eternal Bound" still debating but then again there's alot of stuff to get out of the way.. Especially personal daily activities as in my games lol. There's a whole bunch of games that i never beat that i want to. But i never find the time lol. i'm just about done wit FFX, need to work on FF7. Got my new ds games to play etc. This game called "lunar : Dragon song" im really getting into it. I think its to bad of a rpg for the ds. I personally enjoy it ^.^
Then after my games, wanna get more into my drawings and stories lol. Then everything else i guess will fall into place. Well i think im gonna cut today's entry here.. I think i've been here long enough talking about my bs {Bullshit} i will see if i can post alot more and fix up the blog alittle more. Well lets see what happens ^.^ Oh and wish me luck on my Mid-terms guys ^.~ *waves* Till next time.. Adios!
Jeannine is back to blog on 2006-1-18 at 7:08 P.M
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